I have shaved my legs in a sink of cold water in the bathroom plane of a transcontinental flight. I have shaved my legs with no water while camping. I have shaved my legs in college dorm bathrooms, four star hotels, and at home in the dark when the power has gone out.
In other words, I am not new to the game of shaving my legs.
Lately however, it seems that the rules of shaving have changed. When I go to purchase a new razor, I am confronted with costly choices of five blade varieties. No longer do my hair follicles need to suffer the single blade assault that used to leave them reddened and irritated. But now, my razor seems to whisk away the hairs by TAKING THE SKIN WITH THEM! Weekly, I find myself sliced, diced, spotted in blood and no closer to the ultimate smooth shave than I was three decades ago.
So I say "Enough!" to the makers of these technologically advanced torture devices. Please leave my simple razor alone, and instead put your laboratory science dollars to work helping me get all that lotion out of the bottom of the lotion dispenser. I need it to relieve my skin just after shaving, and I need it now more than ever! Ouch! Fuck all you razors-on-steroids. I'm over it! FUYA!
--Heather
