Positive Affirmations -- With Cojones!

I AM GRT. What doesn't say FUYA more than a bumper-sticker-plastered backend with an EXPLOSION of positive affirmation type sayings and underneath it all, swinging with each bump in the road, a pair of bumper nuts! The sheer ridiculous of it all was overwhelming.

FUYA! BECAUSE SOMEONE IS GRT DAMMIT!
 

Love Thy Neighbor

I’m a member of a community website called Nextdoor where you can read stuff/post about your “neighborhood”. I have found out some very interesting things about the people who live nearby and what goes down in my hood. For example, the post office truck got robbed one afternoon at 2pm right down the street from my house. I would never have known about this and other burglary type incidents that seem to happen quite regularly, if not for Nextdoor. I also wouldn’t have known that a large number of of my neighbors seem to be douches. A post about a car in a driveway blocking the sidewalk turned into an all out war -- pages and pages of comments. It was those of us who didn’t really give a shit if a car blocks the sidewalk vs. those who need more than a wheelchair-sized open space to roll their rollerblades, jog their jogging shoes and tread their asshole-ness on. Another thing my “neighbors” like to post about are things for sale. This is how I discovered that someone who dwells in my area, had a $10K couch they were selling. Seriously? Not only the monetary splurge in having a couch that expensive, but the utter decadence in having space for the ginormous beast!

--Beth

Home Sweet Home

I stumbled across an image from Trump’s penthouse on Fifth Avenue by accident. Really, I wasn’t even looking for this shit. The eyesore found me and I had to investigate further. A couple google clicks away and I was greeted with a Palace of Versailles pukefest. An eyeful of endless gaggy gold. Obnoxious oversized chandeliers dripping from ceilings. A disgusting dazzle of muted oranges and beige. Gold goblets full of orange juice at an ornate breakfast table.

GAG.

I cannot think of anywhere more uncomfortable looking. It doesn’t look like the kind of place where you can kick off your shoes and watch TV while enjoying a twelve pack and a pizza on the couch with your dogs.

It also reminded me of this hilarious article I saw on “McMansions”. The article alone is a total FUCK YOU ALL to overdoing it with the casa! Gotta love it.

Let’s hear it for the tiny house movement! Living in your RV! Yurts!

And to anyone who actually thinks Trump can relate to the average American and their daily struggles after looking at his living conditions -- FUYA!

--Beth

Goop Goes Gwenyth-Free

I recently read an article about Gwenyth Paltrow leaving her blog GOOP so it could brand itself sans-Gwenyth. If you aren't familiar with GOOP, it's no suprise. Unless you are a mom with money -- big MONEY -- you wouldn't have much of a reason to check it out. I surfed around it once and was SO GROSSED OUT.

This article on Gwenyth's GOOP exit is so funny, and sooooo in the spirit of a FUYA. Why is Goop gross... well...

--Beth

Fuck Off! I Hate You! Your Band Sucks!

Just got a button machine and have been having a blast making buttons. Took a slew to a couple of shows and sold a bunch.

And the hot sellers are...

--Beth

The Midas Touch

I was walking by and he said, "I need some money. Can you give me $20?" He was sitting on his gold bicycle.

$20!

I gave him $5 and a wink. Because I liked his style.

--Beth

STOP BLIND PATRIOTISM!

This July 4th weekend I was driving through East Oakland, headed to a BBQ and there she was... on the corner. Holding up her handmade sign.

 

She was alone. I wondered how long she'd been out there. "FUCK THE 4TH. BLACK PEOPLE WERE STILL SLAVES" her sign said. And she was holding it proudly, she meant it man. It really took me by surprise. I looked at people in cars around me... there were blacks and whites. NO one was honking or giving her any support. Everyone looked like they had the same reaction I did. Say whaaaat? Hmmm... yes, black people were still slaves back then. Hmmmmm....

She was... all alone.

FUCK YOU ALL was just oozing off her. I wondered how long she'd been there, and how long she was going to keep it up.

It reminded me of a Halloween costume idea I had years ago. I was going to dress up in a red white and blue star-spangled cheerleader costume, complete with Uncle Sam hat, and carry a blind person's cane. I'd call myself BLIND PATRIOTISM. But I never got a cane so never did it. I hear they aren't easy to come by, unless you're blind.

But back to the sign woman... there wasn't any blind patriotism going on here. Hell no! Power to you sister, I respect your passion.

--Beth